Beating cancer doesn’t mean a return to normalcy

Michelle Ruscher felt sick to her stomach when she found out she had breast cancer in June of 2020. Like anybody just diagnosed, she was scared and overwhelmed. 

Then, Michelle, 60, of Cincinnati flipped a switch in her brain. Instead of dwelling on that fear, she quickly looked ahead to the next steps. 

“I just immediately went into positive mode, like, ‘OK, what's the game plan?’” Michelle says. “I would get done with one aspect (of my treatment) and then it was like, ‘Alright, what’s next? Let’s get through this.’”

Michelle stuck with this approach throughout her entire journey. She powered through surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, and she emerged from her fight cancer-free. The world around her seemed to snap back to the way it was before her diagnosis. Michelle, however, wasn’t the same. 

“Suddenly you are finished with treatment and you’re like, ‘OK, now what?’” Michelle says. “I had all these people telling me every single day how wonderful I was, how well I was doing – they were boosting me up. Now, I’ve got to go home to my husband and dog, who just look at me like, ‘When are we going for a walk,’ and, ‘What’s for supper?’”

Michelle is beyond grateful to be alive, but the transition back to normalcy was tough. Fortunately, she found both a therapeutic outlet and a way to give back through Pink Ribbon Girls’ mentor program. Michelle has been a PRG mentor for the past year, providing one-on-one support to five other PRG clients of a similar age and diagnosis.

“I love it – I really do,” Michelle says. “I need therapy as well – talking to them makes me feel better, too.”

‘It came out of nowhere’
Michelle’s story is a case in point of how regular screenings can save lives. She had always been consistent about getting her annual mammogram and, for 18 years, she had never encountered an issue. She didn’t have a family history of breast cancer, so she believed she had no reason to worry when she went in for her exam in May of 2020

“‘Same old, same old,’” she thought. “‘Nothing's going to show up.’”

But something did show up, prompting Michelle to receive a biopsy. A few days later on June 3, she received the call for which no one is ever ready. 

“The breast navigator pretty much ripped the bandaid off and just said, ‘I have some bad news,’” Michelle says. “It came out of nowhere for me.”

Michelle was diagnosed with Stage 1B triple-negative breast cancer. Her tumor was just 1.3 centimeters – they caught it early – but triple-negative breast cancer is considered to be more aggressive because of the rapid way it grows and spreads. 

Michelle saw a surgeon that same week and was scheduled to have a lumpectomy. Her surgery was a success, but she still had a long road of chemotherapy and radiation ahead of her.

Fortunately for Michelle, she was provided information about available resources early. In the binder she was given at her first appointment following her diagnosis was a brochure for Pink Ribbon Girls. Unsure of how she would fare with chemotherapy, Michelle signed up to receive PRG’s free healthy meals, delivered once a week to her doorstep, for both her and her husband. 

“My husband does not cook at all, and I wasn't about to eat out every single day. I didn’t want that expense and the unhealthiness of everything,” Michelle says. “PRG’s meals were free, he didn’t have to cook, and I didn’t have to worry.”

‘There’s a reason this is my journey’
Michelle’s treatment began to take a toll on her appetite, and her mouth became too sensitive from chemo to eat the meals. Not wanting them to go to waste, she stopped having them delivered. That’s when she found a different kind of support through PRG’s peer support events, which were exclusively virtual at the time because of COVID-19. 

“I just started joining these meetings, and you’re in this sisterhood all of the sudden,” Michelle says. “Some people want to share, some people want you to see their face and some don’t. It was just an easy group – a very cohesive, open and safe place to hang out and talk.”

This support was invaluable to Michelle throughout her treatment. When Jan Middleton, PRG’s Director of Education & Peer Support, reached out to Michelle about being a mentor, she didn’t hesitate to accept that role. 

“I have strong faith and I've done a lot of praying,” Michelle says. “I feel – for me, personally – there’s a reason this is my journey.”

‘You’re not sick, you have cancer’
Michelle relishes the opportunity to be there for her mentees. She listens to their stories and then shares hers. Among the most common questions she receives is, “Is it going to hurt?”

“People are just apprehensive about what to expect,” Michelle says. “They want somebody to commiserate with or to talk to. Everybody's lives are different.”

One of Michelle’s mentees lives just a quarter-mile away from her. Michelle dropped off a care package of goodies on her doorstep the day of her lumpectomy, and she was there for her mentee as she battled cancer without the support of her adult children. 

“‘I tried to tell them I was sick,’” Michelle’s mentee told her one day after a particularly painful exchange with her kids. Michelle didn’t mince words, quickly rejecting this minimizing language.  

“‘You're not sick, you have cancer,’” Michelle responded. “‘There’s a difference.’”

Michelle received a message from her mentee shortly after that emotional conversation. 

“‘Thank you so much for that,’” her mentee told her. “‘You're right: I'm not sick. I have cancer.’”

Michelle surprised her mentee by showing up at the cancer center for her last day of radiation, cheering her on as she rang the bell. The two hugged afterward as Michelle’s mentee cried tears of joy. 

Michelle can relate to the overwhelming emotions that come with reaching this milestone. All of life’s challenges don’t disappear along with cancer, and there’s always a looming fear it could someday return. But it’s moments like these that make Michelle feel like she’s doing exactly what she’s supposed to be, and that’s supporting women as they try to reach the finish line. 

“You're so grateful that you're alive and that you accomplished something that, in the beginning, you thought you just weren't going to be able to do,” Michelle says. “It was special for her, it was special for me, and I think that’s what this program is about.”